4 Reasons I’m Not Buying an iPhone for My Teen This Christmas

1. They Distract from What Is Good

Our society has undergone significant changes since the arrival of the smartphone, making it difficult to recall what life was like before it. It’s wise, though, to peel back the layers of our minds to recall what we once did—and no longer do.

Here’s what I did: I read more. I talked to people more. I thought more. I enjoyed hobbies. I watched a movie without doomscrolling. I wasn’t constantly interrupted by a text, a social media notification, a sports score, or a breaking-news alert—or even a random reminder that my favorite online store is having its best sale of the season.

One of the saddest scenes in our digital-crazed world is a restaurant full of people not talking or laughing, but staring down at their screens. They’re not engaged in conversation or enjoying one another’s company. They’re not even mentally present. Instead, they’re captivated by what everyone else is doing—a friend in another town, an aunt across the country, or—most likely—a content creator in another country who has mastered the art of holding their attention.

We’re like the toddler who reaches for one toy but is instantly distracted by another, never fully engaging with what’s right in front of us.

I have four kids. Two excel at sports, a third is gifted in art, and a fourth is an avid reader. Would they have discovered those passions if they had grown up with digital distractions constantly tempting them? Probably not.

God hardwired us for connection, for savoring His creation, and for cultivating the talents He placed within us. Smartphones distract us from all three.

2. They Open the Portal to What Is Bad

Smartphones are like the wardrobe in C.S. Lewis’ stories: There’s a dash of good inside it, but plenty of danger, and before you realize it, hours have passed in another world.

No parent would leave a child alone at an adult bookstore, a seedy dark alley, or a casino -- yet smartphones open the digital doorway to them all. That shiny iPhone offers unfiltered sexual content, unmonitored spaces filled with strangers, and slot-machine-style dopamine hits -- where algorithms exert influence, and your child’s attention span becomes the portal to a company’s profit. And if your children are looking for a literal digital casino, there’s that, too.

A 2023 Common Sense Media survey found that 41 percent of children had seen pornography while at school, an eye-opening stat that is, no doubt, driven by the proliferation of iPhones and other types of smart devices. Just as sad: The average age at which children are first exposed to porn is 12.

Of course, many parents hand their children iPhones with various settings “locked down,” believing the child has no access to the phone’s most luring features. But experts warn those safeguards are often easy to circumvent—through hidden browsers embedded within apps, by creating a second Apple ID on the device, or through a host of other workarounds.

The uncomfortable truth is this: A smartphone is not a neutral tool placed in a child’s hands. Left unrestricted, it is a dangerous gateway into a dark, life-changing world.

3. They Fuel Depression, Anxiety, and Comparison-Driven Pressure

Perhaps an iPhone without an Internet browser or an App Store would not be a doorway to so much darkness.

Yet for most people, iPhones are tightly intertwined with social media—and social media is engineered to hook us. In fact, mounting research suggests that as teens’ time on these platforms increases, their emotional well-being declines.

Since 2010 -- the year Instagram launched and just three years after the first iPhone -- depression among teens ages 12–17 has risen by roughly 150 percent. Emergency-room visits for self-harm among girls ages 10–14 have nearly tripled, while suicide rates for that same age group have jumped 91 percent for boys and 167 percent for girls. College-age young adults tell a similar story, with long-running studies finding that anxiety and depression have more than doubled over the past decade. (Source: The Anxious Generation)

Social media is like a digital drug that flips reality on its head, convincing teens that their own lives are broken while everyone else’s lives are flawless. It fuels a never-ending cycle of comparison and judgment at precisely the stage when young people are vulnerable to such messages. Unfortunately, too many teens are finding their worth not in Christ, but in likes and comments as they measure their value by the approval of friends, acquaintances, and even strangers halfway around the world.

Unlike previous generations, today’s kids don’t escape their social problems when they walk through the door at home. Those anxieties now live 24/7 on social media -- in posts, comments, likes, and group chats -- following them through the evening and into bed as they scroll desperately for validation. They wake up the next morning exhausted, and the cycle begins again.

There are other problems with social media. It normalizes the abnormal. It elevates the loudest and most divisive voices. It amplifies lies and half-truths. It makes you think the entire world is angry and hostile when, in reality, most of our neighbors are not. They’re not on social media all the time. They’re just trying to make dinner.

Thankfully, governments across the planet are taking action.

The U.S. Surgeon General warned that social media poses a serious threat to young people’s mental health, linking excessive screen time to rising rates of anxiety, depression, and sleep deprivation. On the other side of the world, Australia this year became the first country to ban children under 16 from having social media accounts, forcing major platforms to block access and threatening hefty fines for non-compliance.

Hopefully, other governments will follow suit—and perhaps parents will reconsider whether a smartphone is worth the risk at all.

4. They’re an Unprecedented Pull on Our Attention

Humans have always wrestled with distractions from the more important things in life. But smartphones have effectively gathered every distraction in the history of mankind and placed them into a single, ever-present device. They are tiny portals to the entire world, offering an infinite stream of content, stimulation, and temptation, all carried within an arm’s length…all the time.

That wasn’t the case in the past. Every movie had an ending. Every TV series had a final episode. And every game had a final horn. However, smartphones and the platforms they host, such as YouTube and other social media platforms, are distinct. And if those don’t fit your bill, there are other temptations. Like video games. And endless shopping. And other algorithm-fed content.

They never run out of material, and they never remind us to stop. There is always one more video, always one more post.

That reality has profound spiritual consequences. When every spare moment is filled with noise, the habits that once anchored faith—silence, reflection, prayer, and Scripture—are crowded out.

“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). Yet in a world where distraction is instant and constant, learning to be still before God has become harder than ever, not because He is distant, but because our attention so often is.

Does anyone truly believe our culture has advanced where it matters most in the age of the iPhone?

We are a society that is always distracted and never bored, and that’s a troubling path for humanity's future. It’s also unhealthy for our souls. Boredom is often the catalyst for creativity, and creativity is where God often does His work.

My son will, indeed, get a phone -- just not an iPhone. He’ll have a device that can call, text, and reach us when he needs to, but one stripped of the social media feeds that hijack attention and crowd out stillness. (Gabb, Bark, MMGuardian, Pinwheel, and Troomi are among the companies that offer alternatives.)

Some might call it a “dumb phone.” I call it a smart act of resistance in a culture that has lost its way.